I'm a nut. I do stupid things all the time and generally learn best from my own mistakes. Ok, well sometimes I 
learn...

So the question is:

"What are you most embarrassing sporting moments, or stupid actions in sport?"

To get things kicking along(I have a lot)

1) MTB'ing 'Narrow Neck' middle of winter, first time I'd been on a bike in 15 years in a t-shirt and jeans, no 
gloves and only making it half way before nearly passing out due to the effort (I was a 95kg soft computer geek, 
now I just weight less). This was 2 years ago.
2) 3 weeks later, doing an epic MTB with Yurtie and the MTBOZ crew with no better fitness skills.
3) 3 months later deciding to do a 24 hour MTB race. 
4) Going down hilling in Bulli with no down hilling skills what so ever on my XC bike... in lycra... with shaved 
legs.. and coming home 'broken' to a cranky wife.
5) Breaking wife's bike on first day she owns it. (Destroyed shifters, shifting cables, bike computer). "...but 
you told me to do the jump!"
6) Deciding to do a triathlon which was 2 months out, then realising that I couldn't swim even a third the way 
up a pool. I only made the distance 2 days before the event. What's worse was that through my wife's girlfriend, 
gf's man, Paul Amey decided to turn up to cheer me on. 
7) Deciding to do a half Ironman as a logical next event after an enticer. Heading in to my bike shop, nothing 
the owners bike was for sale. I look at a price tag and told him I'd buy it! $800 for a Cannondale R4000 w\ 
DuraAce and brand new Cinelli Angel bars! ... ... "... Chris that price is for the handlebars..." I got the bike 
anyway 
8) Running over my own shoe trying to do a quick mount at last years Nepean Tri... in front of all the crew from 
my local bike shop... "Go Chris! No! Don't do that Chris! Your meant to have the shoes on your feet! Chris! What 
are you doing!". I picked up my shoe and rode away with it in my hand, too embarrassed to put it back on it 
front of the crowd.
9) Doing the fist lap of a 12 hour MTB race with an -average- HR between 90-95%, powered by 3-4 cans of V and 
Red Bull! Next lap I wasn't quite so fast Go the free Red Bull !
10) Deciding with Yurtie to do NZIM 2 weeks before my first Half! Yay! Before Canberra I was telling everyone 
that the hills were puny and that they should expect me back under 5 hours Then I got a 6:30 half. Cancelled 
NZIM Trip! (Actually thinking about it, this has happened quite a few times. )
11) Deciding that I would qualify for Foster by doing the Yeppoon race where I guessed all the choppers, feebles 
and fatties would go to a race at a resort hence I should be looking at a top 10! Only to place second last in 
my category I beat a few DNF's though! Ok, so I'm starting to learn a lesson here, not only am I not fast, 
there probably aren't any uncontested Ironman slots 
12) Running down the finisher chute at Yeppoon only to run back out again, off to complete the other 21.0 km. 
Doh!
13) My wife's Favourite was me doing a track stand in a dirt car park(Yellomundi), innocuously trying to look 
cool, only to realise that I was on sand, overcorrected, then... Timber! Fell over sideways, still clipped in 
struggling on the ground to unclip while I get an applause from all the MTB'ers who noticed... I didn't injure 
anything but my pride, not even a cut or bruise.

So, what humiliation have you faced?








1) Highsiding my CBR600 in a race at Caldwell Park in UK. We were a support race for big event, so LOADS of 
people saw

2) My 2nd ever triathlon (Star City 01) and deciding that it would be a good idea to leave my shoes clipped into 
the pedals without ever having practised getting them on in that manner. Fell off at the start line, then had to 
rip the shoes off the pedals and put them on normally. 






Oh, I'd like to add passing out a few meter off a treadmill in a busy gym (lunch time Pitt St Fitness first) and 
falling head first in to soem gym equipment and being knocked unconsious... and bleeding on everything. I saw a 
doctor, it wasn't serious, few like a bloody idiot though, all the staff were buzzing around me.

Why is this stupid? I have a Veso Vagel problem where after sprint work my HR slows too quickly and my blood 
pressure drops. I stepped off the treadmill after doing 30 mins of really nasty hills sprints, I think I was 
doing 16kph up an 10deg slope in intervals. No cooldown.

Timber!

I seem to say that a bit I knew it would happen btw, I just thought I could make it to the cross trainer before 
it all went bad.

1) Blood on everything from head wound? Check !
2) Maximum densisty of other gym users? Check !
3) Unconiousnss and convulsions? Check!
4) Covered in bruises and shoulder nearly popped out of socket? Check!

I took 3 days off then did City2Surf Fool. 










Let me preface by saying "it wasn't me"

Anyone see the footage of Noosa Tri last year where the guy got caught on camera falling off his bike in 
transition and tipping sports drink all over himself. Very funny and must have been highly embarrasing.








Way way way too many to mention all of them, although I do enjoy the regular occurrences that come with having 
clip in peddles. As in when you first get them, roll up at lights or stop signs and just know you’ve forgotten 
something as you keel over onto the nature strip, or later on when you’ve outgrown that phase and you learn for 
the first time what it’s like to sprint when your cleats are worn down. Nothing like sitting on the top tube 
while at 35kph and with both feet on the road, not in the pedals.

For a good rowing example, back in the early nineties down in Melbourne on the Yarra, the concept of Corporate 
Regattas was just taking off. At the time I was working at one of the Oil companies, and we’d entered an eight. 
The format of the race was 3 crews racing over a 400m sprint from just down river of Princess Bridge to finish 
in front of the boat sheds, taking place in the evening after work. Location was fantastic, as those waiting for 
a train at Flinders St Station could see the start, as could most people at the eastern end of South Bank. 

Unfortunately, the course went through what was the standard turn around point for crews heading back into the 
sheds. The cox, who steers the boat, was the General Managers PA, and I was stroking the crew (a rowing term, no 
comments thanks) As we took of and hit full speed, the cox told me there were two school girl fours turning in 
front of us. I stupidly said just go through them. Can you see my mistake? What I should have said was just go 
BETWEEN them! We t-boned one of the fours at full speed, so about 700kg of eight hit them smack between their 
stroke and cox, cutting the two month old, $10k boat in two. As their boat sank, the girls jumped off their boat 
and onto the bow of our eight, pushing it under the water and sinking the eight. Luckily, no one was hurt in the 
slightest, although the coxes of both crewed never rowed again. What did I do as it went down? The only thing I 
could, stood up in the stroke seat, saluted the applauding crowd and went down with the ship. 




Where do I start:-

RUGBY - maiden grade game - catching the kickoff on my forehead leads to a try, by the opposition, and yes a 
full grandstand.

CYCLING - Sydney to the Gong - first time in clipless pedals, hitting the ground, and yes in fornt of a lunching 
crowd.

TRIATHLON - IMOZ 95 - mistaking my Sportsplus biddon for a water bidden and pouring a full bottle of Sportsplus 
over my head to cool down - led to a very sticky day, and yes in front of a packed aid station. And at the same 
race, taking a toilet stop at portaloos at Cape Hawke last lap of the run - opened the door, dropped the duds, 
sat down, both legs immediately cramped up, legs fly up kicking the door open, and yes the portaloos were facing 
directly into a group of thirty odd people. 

Sometimes there can be little dignity in sport!